The Newest Episode Of Lost

Summary: On April 3, 2010 we lost everything to a fire. No one was hurt. Today, April 22, 2010 my 4yr old son and I are in a hotel waiting for placement in a shelter. See the top floor in the photo? That was my room.


Details of what happened are here if you scroll to the bottom. I will continue to write updates so check back in a week or so.

Three days into our hotel stay Andrew said "Is the house fixed yet?" Yesterday he said "I want to go home." I've been flip flopping between a dream and a nightmare. Some days I enjoy being in a super large hotel bed. Other days I remember something I lost...ok make that every day...or even worse...frequent moments throughout the day.

I went to do laundry near the hotel yesterday. I was in awe of how much clothes each person had. My clothes could barely fill a regular washer. "Did I use to have THAT many clothes?" I asked my self.

This whole situation confirms the importance of music (I lost my clarinet, 2 drums, Andrews mini guitar, and my keyboard, however my violin was saved because I lent it to a friend) and meditation in my life. I'm booked to record some rapcore songs(some I've had since high school!)at World Eater Recordings http://www.worldeaternyc.com/ on May 7th. I just happened to have 30 music Cd's with me that day. If not for that I would have zero music now. I can listen to music online so that is a plus! I did sing with Reverend Billy and the Life After Shopping Gospel choir http://www.revbilly.com/ at Highline Ballroom (April 18) which was an amazing show. My son's birthday was the day before. He got a wonderful Stevie Wonder Style Happy Birthday song after sound check

Oh, the books...I had about 400 books. All lost (including a play I wrote). I wrote a book with 300 poems and song lyrics in it...hooray for the Library Of Congress (and Cheers to myself for copy writing it).

I feel I was spoiled by always living or working in an area where I had easy access to the Village Voice (which I was on the cover of once). I actually stopped picking it up to save trees. When I see one now I hold on to it. Like a tourist I savor every page.

I'm still in New York. I've just always lived in or close to 'the city' (of Manhattan) except for the few years I spent in the Bronx when I first moved to New York in 1996. I'm in the 11220 area code which for me is like another country (like many other areas in New York). I went to the grocery store and had to ask 3 people who spoke little English (as well as the cashier) to locate a can opener. How do you say 'can opener' in Spanish? http://translate.reference.com/

All of my artwork was in there. Photos of them were lost on a friends hard drive. I had about 75 paintings (35 were recent while the remainder spanned back to 2001) that were in the style of Australian aboriginal work. Lots of dots and dashes. All lost.

I am also acutely aware of the garbage I produce, the amazing amount of packaging that comes with everything. Mentally I knew I produced a lot of garbage
however, knowing is one thing.'Experiencing' feels much different.

Also lost...a suitcase full of photographs...maybe 600 including my old fashion modeling portfolio, my old comp cards, 3 different head shots spanning 15 years, and tons of negatives...ouch!

The first store I walked into was a simple dollar store and not a big box chain store...speaking of chain stores...

Since I had lost everything it was like I needed everything in the store! It was an overwhelming feeling...especially because I did not want much. I went in there for sandwich bags.

In case any of you are wondering...I still love fire dance. I cannot wait to perform again. When I saw the flames burst out of my bedroom window it was an amazing force. That image will be incorporated into my future routines. I had a fire show booked for May. I still want to do it. I will post it here, so check back for info. I actually had a fire dance performance the night of the fire that I had to cancel (while sitting on the concrete crying in front of the fire trucks).

I was on the phone with my mom (who lives in Florida) and said "Oh that long black coat you use to wear is gone!". Many of my clothes came from thrift stores or friends (which makes them even more irreplaceable)...that is still so now.

We are all having flashbacks of things I lost. The memory of this thing or that thing comes at odd moments...and from unsuspecting sources (like other people or in conversation). One day, Andrew, out of nowhere went "My trains!" and started crying. He had 3 train sets. When we have a place to put one, my mom will send one for him.

My friend Mark is a massage therapist and donated a free massage. Thanks Mark! It was great. I can actually do a full head circle with no discomfort (old whip lash and dance injuries). My feet felt so good I forgot they were there ("Feet? What feet? I have feet?) and this pain Ive had between the base of my thumb and my wrist seems gone forever! Woo hoo! I highly recommend checking out his services (which include coaching and other fun stuff). You can check out his services here http://www.tantrictiger.com/.

I would like to extend my gratitude to everyone who has supported us thus far: My family (especially my Mom, my Dad, Aunty Claudette, Uncle Bob, Aunt Audrey, Aunty Maureen, Uncle Albert and Grandma), Reverend Billy, The Life After Shopping Gospel Choir and The Not Buying It Band http://www.revbilly.com/, Amma Devotees http://www.amritapuri.org/, My Trance Family, Friends from Landmark Education http://www.landmarkeducation.net/ and Goodbye Blue Monday http://www.goodbyeblue.com/wordpress as well as individuals and folks who I will probably remember after this is posted :-) Thank you all! You know who you are!

Thank you! !Gracias! Merci! Arigahto! Geenkooya! Spahceebah! Obrigado! Madlobt! Grazie!תודה! धन्यवाद! Danke! אַ דאַנק! Salamat! Dank u! Köszönöm! Mulţumesc! Tack! спасибі! teşekkür ederim! คุณขอบคุณ! go raibh maith agat! σας ευχαριστώ! Hvala vam! děkuji! Tak!